quick thought from this side of midnight

here's a question for all you readers and believers out there. what is love? what does it mean? is it more than the yearning in my heart that i feel when she's not around. is it a measure of the divine? or is it simply various neurons firing and hormones raging? "attachment hormones" as my baby calls them.

really, it doesnt matter sweet fuck all.

i realised a few months ago that sometimes love is just an illusion - it's beautiful words masked by great sex and the pretense of intimacy.

"i love you"

it's just words, really. three fucking words, that mean so little unless they can be made real, made tangible.

that, folks, is why i know that i love tash. and why i know, know, that she loves me. it's not just the words, it's the mountain of action that moves those words... it's more than the fact that thinking of her never fails to make me smile. even though that may be part of it. love is the sum of all these tiny wholes. a completed canvas, where even the spaces and distances make up part of the picture.

sigh...

and then, folks, when you get that, that's when you can look behind the curtain and see that while the wizard is just another person, that person is unique and special and fills you and completes you and complements you in ways that you have never before experienced.

ok. enough pseudo-intellectual babble. it's late and i need to crash so i can be up early and fresh for work.

meanwhile, to all those lovers out there. all those people who really know how to love, totally selflessly and with action and faith, i wish you the sweetest dreams - may you all be as fortunate as i am to spend your nights in the arms of someone who loves you as much as you love them - with total and utter reciprocity.

'o'

ps: my little lover just informed me that these words might be construed as a "reaction" to an earlier conversation this evening with S. (of new york and far east asia fame). thought i should clarify that such is not the case. later gators...